A Matching Set
by AlwaysGus1
Summary: 2nd in the Awkward and Sassy series: When the Doctor finds himself stranded in the middle of nowhere, help shows up and brings chaos and danger.
1. Chapter 1

**THIS OCCURS AFTER THE EVENTS OF _TAR AND CANDY FLOSS_.**

* * *

><p>The screeching of the TARDIS brakes brought him out of his daydream, and he pushed himself off of the railing to walk over to the console. The Doctor reached for the scanner and spun it around to face him. Blank. He hit the side of it, as a bit of violence seemed to scare the telly into working. But obviously the TARDIS was less prone to frighten as easily. Though, in retrospect, he supposed that after she had been shot at, crashed into, and had fallen of a cliff - in addition to other dangers - the pounding of a fist didn't pack quite that much punch. The telly had led a relatively quiet life.<p>

Having showered and changed into a fresh costume, the Doctor was ready. After having made such a deal about the Ponds dressing properly for 1945, he had taken his own advice and dressed appropriately for the 1940s beach scene. He was clad in white light-weight cotton trousers and matching blazer with a pale blue polo shirt, completing the look with light-colored braces, two-toned loafers, and a light-colored trilby. Most importantly, his trousers covered his ankles. He took great care to make that happen.

The Doctor walked casually towards the TARDIS door, practicing his swagger. He feared it looked more like a limp, since he was still a little new on his gangly legs. Perhaps he needed a gimmick; he always felt more secure when there was a gimmick, and the absence of his bowtie left him vulnerable. He darted off to his closet of vintage wonders and found just what he was lacking – a hand-carved wooden walking stick with an ivory handle. He twirled a bit in front of the mirror, investigating both front and back.

Yes_, now_ he was ready.

The Doctor decided to leave Amy and Rory to sleep off their V-J Day drunken adventures – by the smells of them, he figured he had quite some time before he would need to return to the TARDIS. After taping a note to the wall outside of their bed chamber, he walked through the control room and stood in front of the TARDIS door. His insides were doing those in-like acrobatics again, and he took a deep breath to try and calm his excitement. He opened the door and stepped through…

_Please be Honolulu…please be Honolulu…_

…into a forest. He turned back to the TARDIS door, but it had shut and refused to reopen. Apparently his sonic was only useful when his ship was cooperative.

It didn't take much investigating to know that he wasn't in Honolulu. He wasn't anywhere near a tropical climate. In fact, he was in the exact opposite of where he expected to be. The cold wind blew through his blazer and sent a chill to his bones. He looked upward and studied the bit of sky that was visible through the trees. Definitely Earth. That was as good a place as any to start, he supposed.

He wrapped his blazer tight around him and began walking through the forest. The Doctor knew that he was in or near a mountain region with a mild winter climate, but other than that, he was clueless. A gust of wind sent his trilby flying across the forest floor, and he chased it as it bounced along. He finally caught up to it at the tree line and leaned against a tree to catch his breath. The amount of exercise into which he had been forced over the last several hours was absolutely criminal. When he was able to comfortably continue without hyperventilating, he pushed his way through the tangled brush and stepped into a meadow.

Out in the open the cold wind was even more brutal, and little flecks of white had begun to dance around his face. Snow. It was snowing. He lowered his head and clutched the blazer tighter around his middle. His hat blew off once again, and the Doctor couldn't have cared less. He continued journeying across the open field, heading nowhere and everywhere at once. There was another tree line several hundred yards in front of him that looked to be divided by a road. He needed to get to that road.

The Doctor walked for what seemed like miles and could have been, as the wind kept pushing him backwards with nearly every step he took. He was cold. He was wet. He was tired. He was lost. And he was alone. He had been all those things before, but he usually had someone with whom to share the misery. Misery truly did love company.

He almost shed a tear of relief as he crossed the ditch that separated him from the road. Now, he had only to wait for the next vehicle to come along. And so he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He kicked the rocks that were scattered up and down the dirt road. He picked some up and threw them at the trees on the other side. He drew a hopscotch gameboard in the collecting snow and jumped around to stay warm. He sang a few of the songs that were still racing through his mind from 1945 and danced them out. He practiced his sonic quick-draw.

And he waited again.

He had almost given up and headed back to the TARDIS to beg and plead entrance when he heard a noise in the distance. He looked down the road towards the rumbling. Suddenly, around the bend, a square-topped black car took the corner on two wheels. It was approaching at an alarming speed, and he backed up cautiously near the ditch. This was not a train he planned to catch. He tried to look like he wasn't stranded on the side of the road in the middle of wherever the hell he was. The car flew by him, leaving him in a cloud of wet dust yet thankful to be alive.

Then he heard the screeching of brakes and saw the car back up almost as fast as it had skidded by. It stopped beside him, and the door opened from the inside.

The Doctor bent down to the car's level and threw up a frightened wave. "Thanks, but I think I'll wait for the next one."

"Doctor, GET IN!"

"River?"

"GET IN THE BLOODY CAR!"

He leapt into the front seat, and River sped off before the door was even shut. "River, the door….umm, the door is…" The fight the door had been having with the winter wind came to an end as the Doctor watched it sail off to the side of the road. "…gone. Yeah, the door is gone. RIVER, THERE IS NO DOOR!"

"Hello, Sweetie…and hold on."


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor looked carefully over the side of the seat and saw the road race by under the running boards. The outside was a mixture of dirt and snow. The only clear visibility was through the windshield and that sight was terrifying to say the very least. The small flying machine was bouncing all over the road, and there was now forest on each side of the primitive passage beyond the steep ditches. He reached frantically over his shoulder for the belt, and to his horror found only more seat.

"Belt! Where's the belt!" He shouted and was met with loud laughter. "Door! Gone! Road! Right there!" The Doctor was pointing madly at the road while keeping his eyes directly in front of him. He wasn't going to panic straight away, but there were trees to the left, trees to the right…and trees directly in front of them. And they were headed in that very direction – very fast. "Tr…..Tr…Tre…"

"You might want to find something to hang onto, Doc."

The Doctor extended his arms to top of the car and braced his legs straight in front of him. His body was as tight as a stretched rubber band. If he lost tension, he would have shot out of the door as if from a slingshot. Still, the trees got nearer and nearer with no deceleration.

"You ready?"

"R…ready f-f-for…what?"

More laughing.

Suddenly, the ground fell out from under them. The car was airborne for a split second, but the Doctor lived an eternity in that flying car until he felt the jarring crash to the ground. They landed on all four wheels just a few hundred feet from a sharp turn. The Doctor couldn't decide how he wanted to die – crashing into the trees ahead or skidding into the turn and flipping down the road. They were both equally horrendous. And he had just learned about that hand brake...seemed a damn shame to regenerate in those hideous clothes. He hated to think that the new him would think that the old him made a habit of looking so ridiculous.

He was still braced from ceiling to floor when River took the turn on two wheels and pulled it all back together to keep on going. "That was great fun, yeah?" She giggled that laugh that meant more trouble was sure to follow.

When he bent his arms and legs, they ached from the tense position they had been holding. He inhaled a sharp breath and turned to face River for the first time since jumping into the barreling deathtrap. "What…in the hell…are…" He paused as he gave her a lookover.

"Yes, honey?"

"…you wearing?" He pointed to her ankle. "Is that real?"

"Of course, they are, Sweetie. I'm still River, after all. You can take a girl out of space…"

"…but you can't take the rather large handgun away from the girl?" He squeaked.

"Something like that, I guess," she answered with a laugh.

There was a very good reason why the Doctor did not immediately recognize River as the driver of the runaway vehicle. Her hair had been gathered and was hidden under a homburg hat which sat low on her head. The sleeves of her white oxford shirt were rolled up to her elbows, and it was unbuttoned dangerously low. The black braces lined up her torso in a way that caused the shirt to blouse open just enough to cause his brow to sweat. Black trousers ran the length of her legs and ended just short of black and white high-heeled oxfords. With the exception of the right leg. The bottom of the trousers on the right leg was tucked into a gun holster, giving easy access to the large and intimidating handgun it housed.

"Wait…'they'?"

River turned her body towards him slightly, revealing another holstered gun nestled at her side under her left arm. "Two? Really? One won't do the trick?"

She looked at him and smiled innocently. "They were a matching set, Sweetie." As if no other answer was necessary to make the situation sensical. Like she was refering to earrings and a pendant.

The car continued to race down the road, throwing dirt and rocks in its wake. He slid a little closer to River – there was a greater chance that he'd be bounced out than shot by spontaneous discharge. "Where are we?" The words reverberated in his throat as they hit every bump and hole in the road.

"About midway between Bristol and Johnson City, I'd wager. Not much further," she explained nonchalantly.

The Doctor's eyebrows turned inward, and he looked at River skeptically. "I've saved Bristol an arseload of times, and what I can barely see of this landscape looks nothing like Bristol. And where the hell is Johnson City? Is that on the coast near Poole?"

"Not Bristol, England, honey. Bristol, Virginia…or Tenessee. Either-or, really."

"So, we're in America?"

"Unless you know of another Tennessee."

"And the year is…" The question hung in the air, and he waited for the other shoe to drop.

"1926." She knew then that it was only a matter of time before his wandering timelines would make sense of the madness.

He rolled together all the thoughts and facts running though his mind and finally understood the context of his newfound circumstances. The car, the guns, the clothes, the guns, the backwoods road, the guns….

He stared at River with a gaping mouth, which closed only to clarify. "River, please tell me…that you are not…"

River cut him off before he could finish his sentence, peering backwards out of the window. "Uh oh."

"Uh oh?"

"Here we go."

"UH OH?"

"This is my favorite part." Her smile was menacing and rather off-putting. If Daleks could smile, they would look just like River did as she gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"River, are you – " His words got lost in the air as he turned his head and leaned carefully out of the car to look behind them. A similar box-like vehicle was in hot pursuit of them and was joined by another, bursting onto the road from beyond the trees. He heard the very distinctive sound of a firing gun and spun around quickly.

"ARE YOU A BOOTLEGGER? IS THERE LIQUOR IN THE BACK OF THIS CAR?"

River grinned and nodded, reaching under the car's front panel and causing the Doctor to squeal high and loud. "Another one?"

"No, silly." She fiddled with what looked to be small remote. With one click, the sound of banjos and drums filled the empty space in the speeding car.

"Wireless radio? In a bootlegging roadster? In 1926? Really?"

"Mood music, Sweetie…A girl needs to be put in the mood. Now, remember when I said to hold on a few minutes ago?" He nodded up and down with panicked speed and wide eyes. "That was nothing…I haven't even initiated the custom boosters…"

_East bound and down, loaded up and truckin'…We gonna do what they say can't be done…We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there…I'm east bound, just watch ol' Bandit run…_

"B-b-b-oosters? 1926 doesn't have boosters!" He cried as he angled every appendage to brace himself for the chase.

She laughed that laugh she was so good at and that always led to dangerous tomfoolery. "But I'm not from 1926, now am I?"

_Now keep your foot hard on the pedal…son, nevermind those brakes…let it all hang out 'cause we got a run to make…_

"Oh, and I prefer rumrunner…" She said with a smile and wink as the sound of more gunfire added to the mood, hers being excited, his terrified.

The Doctor swallowed hard and finally understood why entire nations and worlds had come crashing into defeat on the whisper of a pretty girl.

_I don't wanna die…I don't wanna die…I don't wanna die…I like these arms…_ The words sounded like a sung prayer in-between gunshots.

River swerved the car from left to right, making them a harder target to hit. The Doctor could tell by the louder sounds of gunfire that the police wagons were gaining on them.

"Sweetie, take the wheel."

"Take the wh-what?"

"The wheel. Take it. Come on, now. We haven't got all day!" She shouted, darting her eyes from his to the steering wheel.

He reluctantly relinquished a support beam and reached for the wheel. River turned her body while keeping her foot steady on the accelerator. "River…please tell me you're looking for your white flag."

"I'd be lying..." She drew the gun from its holster under her arm and leaned out of the window.

"DON'T SHOOT! RIVER, DON'T SHOOT. BLEEDING WILL MAKE THEM MADDER!" He yelled in vain. He looked at the road, then at her, then back at the road. "USE THE BOOSTERS! GIVE US A BOOST! BOOSTERS ARE COOL!"

She ducked inside just long enough to give him a shrug. "Where's the fun in that? I always like to give it a go the old fashioned way first."

_Old Smokey's got them ears on, he's hot on your trail…and he ain't gonna rest 'til you're in jail…So, you gotta dodge him, you gotta duck him…You gotta keep that diesel truckin'…Put that hammer down and give it hell…_

Two-way fire was exchanged briefly as the Doctor guided the roadster back and forth across the road,hoping that the swerving would also work in reverse. After only a round of fired shots, River plopped back down in the seat and took over the wheel. The Doctor looked through the small oval window in the back and saw them pull farther and farther ahead of the stopped wagons.

He looked at her with horror. "You killed them!"

She rolled her eyes at him and returned the gun to its holster. "I did no such thing, you idiot. I blew out their tires. Look again."

The Doctor saw four tiny specs moving around in the distance. He tried his best not to look so impressed. "Really? So easily?" It was scary and a bit sexy at the same time. And he was appalled to even think such a terrifying thought.

"I'm good at what I do," she answered smugly.

"So I've seen," he mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." He settled back into the seat and waited for his hearts to stop pounding. "So, where to next? Church?"

They slowed down after a several minutes of silent riding and began to pass signs of civilization – homes, other vehicles and a few businesses. The light had begun to fade, and he feared even more trouble in the dark. "Are we no longer in danger of being caught?" he asked, noting the slower speed.

"Oh, we're always in danger of being caught, Sweetie. I'm rather notorious around these mountain towns…or I should say my roadster is notorious," she acknowledged, beaming with pride. "This face is not synonymous with this car."

"How…splendid," he replied dryly. "How long have you been here, exactly?"

"Long enough to make some friends."

"And apparently some enemies."

"Everywhere and every when I go, honey. That's the business of badass," she said with a chuckle.

They made several turns, weaving around the downtown area, and had reached their destination just after darkness had fallen upon the seemingly quiet town. River drove up to a nondescript warehouse and parked near a large door in the alley. She flashed her lights in a short rhythmic pattern and eased out of the car.

"River…"

"Shhh. Just duck down and wait here. I'll only be a few minutes," she instructed as she grabbed her suit jacket from the seat. She slid her arms into it, and it hugged her curves in all the right places. As she stood there dressed head-to-toe in manly attire, he had never seen her look more sexy, and he felt the stirrings in his own not-so-manly clothing.

"Wait..River. One question."

She turned and lifted an inquisitive eyebrow. "Just one?"

"Do you have a day job? You know, something that obviously doesn't pay the bills…"

She gave him another of her sexy smile-and-wink combos and whispered with a laugh. "I'm the town librarian."

He could do nothing but stare after her as she slinked around the corner and disappeared through a door.

* * *

><p><strong>NOTE: IF YOU ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE TERM "BOOTLEGGING" IN CONTEXT WITH THE ERA, GOOGLE "BOOTLEGGING IN THE 1920S"<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

The car shook as the jugs of moonshine were unloaded. The Doctor heard the men making rather man-like comments about a woman named Arlene, who was obviously rather pleasing to behold…and hold as well. That poor lady, he thought. Probably someone's wife, mother and daughter. It was disgusting how humans could strip away each other's dignity so easily.

The Doctor was taller than the car was wide and, without a passenger-side door, it made for some uncomfortable hiding. How exactly was he supposed to hide in a black car in the dark of night while wearing a white suit? And why was he hiding? He was the Doctor – why was he waiting? He wasn't The Doctor Who Waited. He was The Doctor on Whom Others Waited.

Something had gone wrong in the order of authority. He couldn't pinpoint it, but somewhere along the way, the power had shifted. And it was unacceptable.

After several minutes of silence, he cautiously raised his head to peek over the backseat and dash of the car, peering left and right across the alley. He flipped himself over to lie on his stomach, spun around in the seat and inched closer to the opening where the door should have been. The Doctor slowly poked his head out of the car to have a more thorough look. He appeared to be alone in the alley, and the streets nearby were ghost-like as well.

He tried to right himself into a sitting position, but his height and the shallowness of the car's interior made it nearly impossible. So, he slid across the seat on his stomach and carefully eased out of the car head first, crawling from the vehicle like a legless animal. He plopped onto the ground like something newborn.

River had turned him into a baby seal. Though he knew that there must be some humor to be found, he was unable to locate it in the moment.

He stood and brushed himself off. The door through which she had disappeared was ajar just enough to allow a peep. He reached into the car and retrieved his walking stick and stealthily crept towards the door. He had thought of the numerous times he had told this or that companion to stay outside of this or that place, always for their own good. And every time, they had taken matters into their own hands…usually resulting in more saving than would have otherwise been necessary. But it was only a fleeting thought.

He was the Doctor.

In a white suit. In the dark. Many things he could do and do well, but a chameleon, he was not.

Quietly climbing the steps to the door, he peeked in. He could see River and several similarly dressed individuals talking rather far into the warehouse. He could slip in without being noticed, hide behind some nearby crates and still be close enough to hear what was going on.

The Doctor hung his stick on the rail beside the steps and snaked through the opening in the door. Crouching low, he tiptoed across the warehouse floor and ducked behind the stacked crates. He strained to hear the conversation going on between the men and River. He could see that it was a friendly exchange, but he couldn't hear what was being said. He rolled his eyes at his own debilitating curiosity.

There were more crates ahead that would adequately hide a stalker if he could get to them without being noticed. He surveyed his surroundings and found that if he slid along the wall, he would be hidden under the shadows of the rafters overhead. He smiled at his luck and cleverness and followed the path carefully and silently, slipping successfully behind the barrier of crates.

The voices were much clearer now, but he dared not peek over or around the crates for the visual. His pale skin would reflect nearly as much light as his clothing.

"So, there was no trouble?"

"Nothing I couldn't handle."

"Oh, I can't imagine that such a thing even exists, Arlene."

The Doctor's eyebrows turned inward, and he mouthed to himself with distaste, _Arlene?_

"You do know I love a chase, Al dear. There might be a few coppers cursing my little roadster as we speak." The Doctor recognized the flirtatiousness in her voice, and he sensed a sudden change in his mood. Something rather unpleasant.

There was shuffling across the floor, and an almost inaudible squeal and giggle from River.

"Arlene, when are you going to admit that you are meant to be my girl? This is not a body meant to be hidden away in a library." There were wet noises, and the Doctor was positive that it was no leaky faucet. That man was leaving wet marks somewhere on River. His legs began to twitch and his hands clenched into fists.

"Now, now, easy boy. We have a professional understanding, Al. I bring the hooch, you bring the cash, and then we wave goodbye, darling. It's why we're so hard to catch. You don't want to ruin a good thing, do you?" More wet noises. "Even though you do make a good argument…hands, you naughty boy!" Sexy River laughing. The Doctor rolled the fingers of a tightly clenched fist.

"As do you, my sweet criminal. Okay, Arlene, you win again. Same time, same place…umm, two weeks?"

"Of course." There were several sets of footprints that could be heard shuffling off. "Hey, Al!" River called.

All movement stopped. "Yes, dollface?"

"How about you stop sending your cronies into my establishment, huh? I don't need that kind of attention if we want this to continue, yeah?"

"Whatever you say, dollface." And the shuffling of footsteps faded into silence.

The Doctor finally let go of the breath he'd been holding and released the tension that had had most of his body locked into place. He suddenly realized that he had not considered how he would return to the car ahead of River without being outed as a peeping tom of sorts.

He crept slowly along the wall and slid behind the first stack of crates and contemplated his next move. He heard the heels of River's shoes approach and panicked for an idea. He got distracted by the swing of her hips as she walked by and his concentration on the task took a backseat to the discomfort bubbling in his gut.

"Are you coming or do I have to sit in the car and wait for you to figure it out?"

Dammit. The Doctor stood and followed her out of the warehouse. "But I was so careful."

"You're still you. Why do you think I walked so far into the place?" She opened the door to the car and slid gracefully into the seat. "You are incapable of following directions."

He had one leg in the car when he turned and hurried back to the warehouse, returning with his walking stick. Jumping in, he replied, "I don't know, _Arlene_. Perhaps to have more room to dance with your boyfriend."

The car lurched forward and River slowly left the alley and the warehouse behind them. "Oh, shut up."

"I heard the wetness."

"Don't forget the hands," she said snidely.

"I couldn't hear the hands."

"Consider yourself spared, then."

"Hey, I was supposed to be in Honolulu. I'm no happier about being here than you are about having me," he spat.

"Oh, I doubt that, honey."

"I like you better in a…." He let the sentence trail off, remembering the sensitivity of their timestreams. He wasn't even sure of where or when they were in relation to each other. There hadn't been time to ask, with all the dangerous criminal activity and whatnot.

"In a what?" She looked at him with both curiosity and anger.

"Spoilers." That word felt superior as it rolled of his tongue. He liked it. "And I don't feel nearly as saddened by what those men were saying about Arlene earlier."

"I hate you."

"You still don't."

"Just give me time…"

He decided to sit and fester in his anger about the inappropriate kissing behavior in the warehouse rather than argue with an irritated River. So, while the roadster rolled quietly down the streets of the seemingly-vacant town, they both sat silently, smoldering in both disgust and lust - each of them wondering which emotion would win out and neither willing to look the other in the eye and give in, knowing that lust was definitely stronger than the other.

It was going to be a long night.


	4. Chapter 4

They drove in silence for what seemed like hours but couldn't have been more than twenty minutes. River drove around the city as if she had a blindfolded victim in the trunk of the car. The Doctor knew for a fact that he had seen the same street from three different directions.

"Are you lost?"

She snapped her head in his direction and stared him down. He smiled a smile that was unaffected and irresistible, causing her to roll her eyes and return her focus to the road. "I understand how difficult it must be for you to comprehend how to navigate with stealth…or accuracy, for that matter, Mr. I'm-Supposed-to-be-in-Honolulu."

"I don't exactly have control over where I go. The TARDIS either dislikes me or misunderstands me," he reluctantly admitted.

"Well, she must be really angry with me to drop you off here," River growled under her breath as she slowed the vehicle and turned into a driveway.

The Doctor heard her grumbling but didn't acknowledge what was not supposed to be heard. It had become obvious that she was angry with him about something that went far beyond anything that had happened since she forced him into her car earlier in the day. He would get to the bottom of it, but now was neither the place nor the time. She was still irritated about him following her into the warehouse…and she was armed.

The driveway led to a long rectangular building under several trees. It looked a bit out of place but not so much that it would draw undue attention. As they approached, River reached for and pushed another button on the small remote kept under the dash. The door began to slowly rise, and they drove into a dark garage. With another touch of the button, the door closed behind them, and lights flickered on along the ceiling.

"River…" The Doctor sighed, shaking his head.

"What? So, I brought a little of the future to the past," she rationalized as she exited the vehicle.

"A little?" The Doctor stood and stretched his long body, cramped from the ride-that-made-no-sense, and then studied the environment.

In the garage were three roadsters, all different makes, years and body styles, but nothing about them appeared out of the ordinary for the time. Well, except for the one painted TARDIS blue - which was, unapologetically, his immediate favorite. However, what did stand out in the garage were the accessories that were used to make these vehicles unstoppable, none of which were local to 1926. There were shocks and struts that were still more than a century away from popularity among street racers, and the nitrous systems would have been the envy of every enthusiast who had ever taken a wrench to a car.

"I'm not condoning this activity, mind you," he said with a serious point at her, "but it is…amazing." The maleness of him was coursing through body, and the delight was evident in his face.

River had removed her hat and let the hair escape from its containment. Her jacket had also been shed and hung on a nail over the workbench. She stood, hip propped against the blue roadster and arms crossed, watching him take it all in. She nodded and smiled valiantly. "It passes the time…and helps keeps the Marshalls in the dust, of course."

He studied the woman before him. Her untamed hair was longer than he had ever seen it and fell over her shoulders and breastbone. The crossing of her arms had pushed her breasts into the center of attention under the stressed fabric of her shirt. With her hip cocked and the grin on her face, it was all he could do not to rush at her.

She must have sensed his need, as she rocked herself off of the car and sauntered over to him. He took a deep breath and swallowed the nerves that threatened to spew from him. River reached into one pocket for the remote and the lights dimmed, leaving them in total darkness. When she reached him, she took his hand in hers and tucked them both into the other pants pocket.

Leaning in close, she brushed her lips across his, flicking his top lip with her tongue and then whispered in his ear, "Do not let go of my hand, Sweetie."

* * *

><p>He slowly opened his eyes and rolled his head from side to side. Books to the right, books to the left. He looked up – books to the ceiling. His body was stiff and achy, and he smelled…like he had been on fire. The Doctor sat up as quickly as his soreness would allow and surveyed himself and his surroundings. There were patches of missing fabric from his trousers and jacket, big holes that were singed and warm. He was missing a shoe and a sleeve from his blazer. His braces were gone, and his shirt had come untucked from his trousers. He scratched his head and ran his hands through his hair. Probably not attractive, but it appeared to still be intact. He'd been witness to wars with fewer tell-tale signs of destruction.<p>

He looked behind him. More books. He was in a library. He hated libraries. He had vowed to never enter another library, so how had he gotten here? He suddenly realized what he was missing and frantically searched the floor around him.

"Looking for this?" River appeared from around one of the stacks, holding his walking stick. She pulled back the ivory handle and the tip of the cane glowed.

"Umm…yes. How did you know to do that?"

"Do you ever wonder how you came upon many of the things you have, Doctor?" She reached out a hand and helped him to his feet. She grinned at his confusion. "I have a knack for tinkering." She dropped his hand and walked to one of the reading tables.

"What happened to me? I'm all…post-apocalyptic," he said as he followed her and took a seat, still a bit disconcerted.

"I warned you not to let go of my hand, Sweetie. Travelling by vortex manipulator can be rather explosive if you don't follow the rules," she explained, not sounding the least bit sorry for his bumpy ride. "But I do have some clothes for you." River nodded towards a nearby chair.

"That's clothes?"

"You're welcome," she replied flatly.

"Really?"

"Well, they are your clothes. Take them or leave them. I'd prefer that you leave them, because sometimes…" Her voice faded, and she looked downward at her feet.

"Because why, River?" He took a step towards her, and she backed up defensively.

"Nothing…really…I'll just let you change and then you can join me downstairs in the kitchen. I know how badly you hate being in a library. Which I've always thought a bit odd when you take into consideration your overall…" She waved her arms up and down the length of his body. "…well, you-ness."

"Hey! What is wrong with my me-ness?" He yelled after her as she turned a corner and began walking down the stairs without replying.

"My me-ness is magnificent," he mumbled to himself. That was twice that she had implied he was somehow less-than what was considered attractive. Of course, in his current condition, he supposed she had a point. But his pants were long enough, and there was no bowtie. No unusual hat. What exactly did she want him to wear? Not that he was going to dress for her liking, but he was curious, and a bit cross, as to why she kept bringing up his –ness. His –ness was cool.

He shed himself of his tattered clothing and reached for what she had left for him. A shirt and underpants. He shook them both out, hoping that trousers would fall out of one. Nothing. He put on what was provided and stood there in his socks, a shirt and a pair of boxers. This was not going to work.

He walked over to the stop of the stairs and yelled, "Where's the rest of it?"

River answered from a room below, but he couldn't understand what she had said. So, he repeated his question.

"That's all I have," came a faint reply.

Surely that's not the case, he thought. He ran a hand through his hair as he contemplated the situation. If they were his clothes, then why weren't there more of them? When did he leave from wherever she was without a shirt and underpants? He was disturbed…and a bit excited at the thought. Does he come back here at some point and have reason to be out of his pants? And what causes him to leave so quickly as to forget his underpants?

He would wager that guns were involved. River chased him out at gunpoint. "That is exactly what happened!" He murmured to himself as he jumped from one conclusion to the next.

But maybe he had misheard her.

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! I NEED MORE CLOTHES! I'M ALL SORTS OF NAKED…AND COLD…NOT TO MENTION THIS IS A LIBRARY! LIBRARIES ARE NOT COOL!"

There was stomping and mumbling as she made her way up the stairs. He ran over to a chair and sat down, scooting himself under the table. He put his arms out and clasped together his hands, twiddling his thumbs.

River bounded around the corner with the look of a wild woman in her eyes. "I. Said. That. Those. Are. All. The. Only. Clothes. I. Have." She pushed the words out through clenched teeth. She had changed into different clothing, and his breathing had quickened at the sight of her.

Her hair was pulled together loosely with a strip of fabric and a few curls had come loose, framing her enraged face. She was wearing a faded yellow cotton shirt that simply said "Waikiki" and a pair of joggers. Barefoot and badass.

He had two choices. He could beg her forgiveness for whatever was keeping her riled and hope that it would end in a pile of discarded clothing. Or he could get to the bottom of it once-and-for-all, perhaps ask for forgiveness if it was due…and hope that it would end in a pile of discarded clothing.

He chose wrongly.

"You know, you have been cross with me ever since you bullied me into getting into your car. It has not gone unnoticed. Just so you know that know," he said, not realizing how close she was to causing him harm. "All I did was show up in my crisp suit and help you evade the law," he raised an eyebrow, adding with a nod, "You made me a 20th century criminal." He folded his arms across his chest and turned his face from her.

Perhaps if he hadn't closed his eyes to reinforce his smugness, he would have seen the book careening towards him. But he had, and so he didn't. Therefore, when it made contact on the side of his head, he was most surprised. He reached up and rubbed his stinging scalp. Forgetting his near nakedness, he pushed back from the table and stood. "You threw a book at me!"

"I did not." A challenge.

His mouth dropped open, and he stared at her as she stood four tables down the aisle with her arms braced on its top. "You threw a book at my perfectly shaped head!"

"Prove it. What book?"

He bent down to pick up the book, pausing to notice that it was a Farmer's Almanac, and righted himself…just as another sailed across the room, hitting him square in the chest.

"I didn't throw that one, either."

They both stood still, staring at each other, daring the other to respond. Similar standoffs had occurred throughout history and had usually ended with a fatality.

The Doctor looked directly in River's eyes as he ripped the Almanac down the middle. "And I didn't tear it in half." He had been properly provoked, and the day's antagonisms had gotten the better of him. His peacemaking tendencies had failed him miserably, but he couldn't back down now. To show fear would be to die.

Her breathing was akin to the sound a bull made as it prepared to attack. He had seen it multiple times in Spain. He liked to watch the stupid humans run down the street, gambling on not getting skewered by its horns.

He met her stare-for-stare and asked what he realized could be his final words in his current body. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

Before he had time to react, River jumped up on the table and bolted towards him, hurdling the spaces in between each table with ease and determination. With widened eyes and fear in his hearts, he turned and dashed past the length of the remaining tables. He knew that she would catch up to him by the time she reached the last table, and judging by her very-much-not-slowing-down, she was going to jump. He had only one option for survival.

When he rounded the corner of the last table, he stopped and turned to face her, smiling brightly. She was past the point of slowing down or changing course, so she had no choice but to jump directly into the arms he was holding out to her. He caught her, and she immediately began to fight him for release. While keeping a grip around her middle, he allowed her legs to fall to the floor before backing her up against a towering shelf of books.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll let me go," she warned, breathing heavily.

"Not a chance. I'll be regenerating within seconds, and I quite like this body…even with its me-ness." His voice was low and deliberate, and his body had begun to respond to being pressed against hers so forcefully.

She quickly raised a leg to place a knee with enough pressure to ensure her release, but he was quicker than she, grabbing it from under the calf and wrapping it around him. From his perspective, he held all the cards.

And now was the time to play his hand.


	5. Chapter 5

"So, what are we going to do now, Sweetie," River asked, venom dripping from hidden fangs. "Are you going to give me a lesson on the dangers of criminal activity or a lecture about smuggling in some of the future? Same story, different year, yeah?" She tried to twist away from him, but he simply gripped her tighter.

"Are you going to give me a hint about this raging hostility, Dr. Song?" He tightened his grip on her leg and pressed her even harder into the shelves of books. His hearts were beating at an alarming rate, and there was no hiding his enjoyment of her captivity…or his excitement. His body was betraying him and exposing a weakness he had always been able to conceal.

"It's none of your bloody business," She refused to break eye contact. "At least, not this you," she added with a hateful grin and a grind against his obvious arousal.

He closed his eyes and clenched his teeth in both emotional and sexual frustration. He didn't know whether to kiss her or kill her. It wasn't very often that something or someone provoked the kind of anger that was surging through his body in that moment, and he wasn't exactly sure what to do with it in context with his situation.

But he didn't condone violence. Which left him with one option. And he was terrified. What he wouldn't do for that vortex manipulator right now. Of course, as close as they were, he would simply be uncomfortable in another time and place with her…and in little more than his underpants.

He studied her face. Oh, but she was infuriated. Her chin jutted forward and her eyes were glowing an unnatural green. Her breathing was heavy and fast, and he could tell that she was waiting for just the right reason to do him justifiable bodily harm. Though she kept her nails trimmed short, they were causing quite a pinch to the skin of his arms as she tried to force him away from her. She had stopped wiggling, which was making him even more nervous. It could only mean that she had found another way out, and it promised to be unpleasant. He ran possible scenarios through is mind as held her stare. _My god, you are beautiful_. And just like that, he forgot to hold her captive, reaching up and tucking a curl behind her ear.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What did you just say?" Her voice had lost the rage and her eyes had softened.

"I didn't say anything." He lowered his eyes from hers, knowing that he couldn't look at her and lie. He hadn't meant to say it out loud, but it may have saved him from potential physical suffering.

"Doctor, I heard you…" She reached up and gave his chin a gentle bump, motioning for him to look her in the face. The incredulous look she reflected at him made it difficult for him to keep a straight face.

"Did you throw the book?"

"No."

"And I didn't say anything."

"I hate you." She relaxed into his arms and welcomed the weight of him against her. He molded into her curves as if one had been carved from the other.

"No, you don't." He smiled and placed a light kiss on her nose. He felt the tension leave her body, and he sunk into her, giving over nearly all of his weight.

"I might…" She reached around and pulled him into her, adding pressure to his already aching groin.

He drew in a breath between clenched teeth, hissing at his pleasurable discomfort. "Never…"

She looked up at him and her eyes changed suddenly, almost saddened. "But I have."

He felt that confession plummet within him and knew that it was only a small part of a much bigger picture…one that he had tried so many times before to pull from her. And one that mattered very little to him at that very moment. He put a finger to her lips. "Shhh…spoilers."

She grinned under his finger, and the fire returned to her stare. She opened her mouth and let his finger fall in between her teeth. She ran the length of her tongue from bottom to top and sucked lightly on the end of it while rolling her tongue in circles. She forced it out with her tongue and kissed it before the Doctor reclaimed the finger.

"I said you are beautiful," he whispered as he reached behind her to untie the fabric that held her hair. It tumbled around his hands, which he quickly buried in the curls.

"I threw the book." She couldn't take her eyes off his - afraid that if she blinked, he would be gone. She began to slowly unbutton his shirt, her fingers lightly touching his bare skin.

"I would have said that I miss you. Sometimes so much that the TARDIS brings me to you on her own." He placed kisses at the corners of her mouth as he trailed his fingers softly up and down her arms.

"If you weren't here, I'd be in those clothes you are wearing, just to have something of yours near me," she admitted, sliding the shirt over his shoulders and down his arms. She kissed him at the base of his throat, knowing that it would make it unbearable for him to stop touching her.

He rolled his hips into her, and she wrapped her leg tighter around him. The Doctor leaned in closer, his lips grazing hers as he spoke. "I don't think I can close the TARDIS door behind me again unless you're on my side of it. I think I need you, River…"

It started as a chaste and simple kiss. The Doctor closed the gap and brushed his lips over hers softly, River returning as sweetly as was given. He pulled her lower lip between his teeth and teased it with a gentle bite and a glide of his tongue. When he released it, he took advantage of her parted lips and sought out her tongue with his own. The dance was slow, each feeling out the other with careful and deliberate flicks, and then progressed into a needy hunger. The Doctor gripped the hair in his hands tighter, tugging at it slightly, and River reached around into his boxers and pulled him tighter to her, digging her nails into the bare skin. The sounds of their moans and kisses heightened their arousals, and both ground into each other to release some of the pressure.

The Doctor lifted her shirt and broke the kiss to pull it over her head. His breath caught in his throat as he got his first look at her bare chest. He began to nibble at the skin below her ear and took a breast in each hand, rolling the nipples between his thumb and forefinger. River moaned as he wedged his leg between hers, causing her to instinctively grind against him. He awkwardly bent his body to allow him to take a breast in his mouth while keeping his leg pressed into her, and River rolled her hips against him, letting little moans escape. She slid a hand as far into his boxers as she could reach, which wasn't far enough considering his long torso, but just enough to tease. She scratched at his skin lightly, and he bucked into her hand.

The Doctor made one last flick of her nipple with his tongue before standing to face her. She had been watching him and knowing that created an even greater sense of urgency. When he stood, River was left without the pressure she needed against her center, but she channeled that need into what was available to her with the change of position. Her shoulder rolled into him as she reached further into his boxers. The Doctor followed her lead and slid his hands into her joggers, teasing her over the fabric of her panties. She trailed her fingers along the areas closest to where he needed her touch, careful not to oblige him. He rubbed lightly, back to front to back with just the tip of one finger, pausing to make circles over her covered clit.

Her breathing had become more of a pant. "Doctor…"

He covered her mouth with his own, leaving a quick kiss and speaking against her lips. "What do you want, River?" He moved the fabric of her panties to the side and slid a finger into her, making slow circular movements against her walls. She moaned and removed her hand from his pants, pushing against his chest with her hands. His thumb rubbed across her clit as he worked another finger inside, pushing deep and rubbing to find _that_ spot, the one that would send her over the edge when manipulated. "Open your eyes and look at me, River…."

She opened her eyes and met his. His shoulder burned and his hand was cramping, but nothing short of death could have made him stop. He removed one finger, leaving the other to probe deeper and flick quickly. He placed the heel of his hand against her clit and increased the pressure as it rubbed with the movements of his finger. She gasped and bucked into his hand. He smiled at her wickedly. "Oh…right there…"

Her laugh was low and guttural and almost enough to send him over the edge. The laugh faded quickly into heavy breaths as she gripped his other arm with both hands and curled her fingers around his flesh. He felt the walls inside her throb and squeeze around his finger as she rode out the orgasm that rocked her. River rolled her hips into his hand, and he gently withdrew his finger and rid her of the rest of her clothing. River reached for his hand and took his finger into her mouth and licked it thoroughly. A small growl escaped his throat as she held his stare while her tongue rolled around his finger. He pulled his finger from between her lips and leaned in for a kiss, but she had other plans.

River kissed her way down his chest, leaving a glistening trail with her tongue. The Doctor reached up and braced himself against the bookshelf, thankful for the supporting wall behind it. She dragged her nails down his chest hard enough to leave scratches, and he moaned in delicious pain. He knew from the moment she took him into her mouth that his life would never be the same.

River teased him painstakingly slow at first, moving from base to tip, her tongue gliding along the underside of him. She would take him in and hold him there until she slid back to the tip, circling him with her tongue. Kneading his hanging flesh in her hands, she began to gradually increase her speed. The Doctor reached down and took a handful of her hair in his hand, just to have the contact. Her teeth would occasionally graze him and send his hips bucking into her mouth. "River… you've…got…to…it's…time…I'm…going…to…" He couldn't finish his sentence before she pulled back from the base with one last slow movement.

She rose to her feet, dragging her body up the length of him. The Doctor grabbed her by the sides of the face and kissed her with a force that was sure to leave them both bruised. As their lips fought, he grabbed her from behind and lifted her to him. River wrapped her legs around his middle and her arms around his neck.

The Doctor broke their kiss and pulled back to look at her. Her eyes met his, and though he couldn't be sure and would never ask, he thought he saw the traces of a tear down her cheek. He rested his head in the crook of her neck so that his lips danced over her skin as he spoke, "We've never done this before, River…for me, this is the first time."

His admission sent a chill through her as it occurred to River that it could mean the last for her, but any panic that threatened to rise was forgotten as he slid slowly into her. She whimpered and wrapped her legs tighter, holding him deep inside as she rocked her hips against him. He pulled her tighter as she rolled her hips in circular patterns. The Doctor began to thrust faster, forcing River against the shelves repeatedly. She reached up and grabbed one, holding on until it gave way and sent books crashing down around them. He moved in her frantically and watched her face as she neared orgasm once again. Close himself, he pushed in deep one last time and held himself there, both riding out the waves that coursed through their bodies.

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly to him. River legs still clung around his hips. She swept the hair from around her face and placed a kiss on his shoulder, followed by one to his forehead.

"Hey, that's my line," he teased.

"You were late…as always," she giggled, adding, "Now that I can actually feel the shelves, I think maybe I don't like them."

"Oh, sorry. There were all sorts of getting carried away happening. You know…with the…"

"Sweetie, just back up and put me down," she interrupted, saving him from the awkwardness to which he was headed.

He took a step backward and then another. However, the shakiness of his legs and the angle at which he placed his foot on a book caused them both to go tumbling to the floor. They were a jumbled mess of nakedness. Nothing but legs and arms and hair…all sweaty and slick. Suddenly, River began to laugh. One of those breath-stealing contagious laughs.

"What?"

She doubled over and put her head on his chest, shaking throughout her middle.

"River! What is it!" He didn't want to ruin the afterglow with whining and pouting, but it was no fun being left out of a joke…especially when there were only two people in a room and he wasn't the one laughing.

"Your feet!"

He looked down to see that he still had on his socks and that he had neglected to change them when he put on the linen suit. They were bright yellow and covered in dozens of multi-colored books with little wings on the binds.

He kissed her hair as she continued laughing into his chest and couldn't help but to join in on the fun.

"Do you know what inappropriately colored socks are?" he asked.

"Cool," she said with a wink.


	6. Chapter 6

"Apple."

"No."

"Attack."

"No. Pay attention." They continued to lie in pretty much the same positions in which they fell – the Doctor on his back and River spread across him. They had taken to playing a word game – the Doctor spelling out the words on her back with his finger, and she guessing incorrectly nearly every time.

"Alias."

"You are terrible at this game."

"One more time."

He drew the letters very slowly and waited.

"Allocate!"

"ALLONS-Y!" He yelled a little too loudly, having had enough.

"What?"

The word felt strange on his tongue, like it didn't fit. "Allons-y?" He repeated it…same awkwardness.

She propped herself onto his chest and looked up at him. "Seriously? French? You were writing French? You don't speak French."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and corrected her. "Well, I can."

"Well, you shouldn't."

"Just didn't have the same ring to it," he said disappointedly. "Owww….." Her elbows were digging into him further with every little movement.

"Oh, calm down." River sat up and scooted back to lean against the wall. She checked the clock hanging above them. Still a few hours yet.

The Doctor rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. "I'm naked in a library. There's books, and I have no clothes."

"Your clothes are right here, honey. Stop pouting." River crawled to the places where the shirt and pants had been tossed and retrieved them, dropping them on the Doctor's head. "Put them on. I have the wrong end of naked staring back at me."

"Turn your head," he asked, with only a slight tease.

"Really? I just had your…"

"ALLONS-Y!" He shouted over her as he slid the pants up his legs and over his naughty bits and sat up beside her.

She laughed and slapped a hand over his mouth. "Stop it. It's less cute than it sounds in your head."

"Actually, it does rattle a bit ridiculous in these ears." She looked at him curiously, and he simply waved away the remark. He shifted his weight and pulled a book out from under his going-away end. "_The Painted Veil_. Hmm…nice little classic."

"Not so much," she answered, pointing to the sign over the shelves in front of them. _New Arrivals. _

"Yeah? Hey, new classics are cool. What else do we have here?" He crawled on all fours around the scattered books from the broken shelf and read aloud. "_Mrs. Dalloway_…_The Trial_…Ooh, _The Great Gatsby_…"

"Who proudly sponsored your attire for the evening…"

The Doctor ignored her and continued his investigation. River reached for her clothes and redressed as he mumbled aloud. He was facing away from her, and she giggled to herself at the sight of him crawling around on the floor in just his underpants with his arse in the air. She crept over to him on hands and knees and began tickling him with playful kissing along his side.

He swatted at her gently. "Stop that! I'm being intelligent…_The Keeper of the Bees_ – hey, mystery solved, he knows where the bees are…_Betwixt_ – great word, betwixt…_The Professor's House_…" He turned his head sharply in her direction when she began biting him. "You are impeding the free flow of brilliance here," he teased, scrambling quickly over to a lone book. "And here's the one that toppled us…let's see…oh…"

She crawled up behind him and bit him on the back of the leg. "What is it?"

"It didn't just topple us," he twisted his legs around and sat still with the book resting in his lap. "It toppled nations." His voice had turned somber and sadness crept into his face.

River read the book title upside-down and felt sick for completely different reasons. "Oh."

"Yes, 'oh' pretty much sums it up, yeah?"

She stood and began placing the books on a nearby table. "I should probably be getting you back to the TARDIS. Think you can survive one more vortex trip? Maybe hold on this time?"

"How is this even here? The translation is still a few years away...You know, I think I have visited every habitable planet and met nearly all the species this universe has to offer. I have chased werewolves with queens and aliens with painters. And I have changed the destiny of worlds and people, even without the intention…" He paused, breathing out a heavy sigh. "But I have never allowed myself to be put in the position to have to make this choice…it's not as simple as it would appear to be…Have you ever been here?"

River stopped busying herself with the books and stared down at the tabletop, looking for the right words. "Ummm…I was there once. Had very little to do with the context though. I'm not even sure of the timeline, really." She took a deep breath and spun around. "Now, you…"

River walked over and stood in front of him, hands on her hips. "It's time we get you to where you need to be. I have a business to run, and it's not your cup of tea, Sweetie." She held a hand out to him.

He traced the title's lettering. "Yeah, I hate libraries. Nasty business…._lye-brare-eees_…Hey, who goes to a book house in the middle of the night, Dr. Song?" He took her hand and was pulled to his feet.

"Not for reading, Doctor. This library serves a whole other purpose," River explained as she walked towards the stairs.

He chuckled as he caught up to her, wrapping his free arm around her waist and pulling her to him for a nuzzled kiss on her neck. "It certainly did tonight."

A laugh escaped her, and she pulled him along as he awkwardly stepped behind her. "Not exactly what I meant, honey. See those stairs there…they may lead further into the belly of the Earth…"

The Doctor stopped walking and started fidgeting. "Underground? Never good…the under of things. Tennessee isn't on the back of tortured animal, is it? Perhaps a giant mysterious box of some sort down there?"

"What in the hell are you going on about? I run a speakeasy in the basement," she said as she began to descend the stairs. "…and drop that book on the table. Didn't you read _property of the City of Johnson City, Tennesee_?"

"Wait, you sell it too? You leg it AND you sell it?" He threw the book onto the nearest table, and it slid off into a chair underneath. He turned back to put it where it belonged but stopped short. It was where it belonged. Underneath. Where the bad things go.

He hurried his lanky legs down the stairs, calling after her. "You can't expect me to transport in just my underpants. There's a lot less between my…bits and pieces…and the impending singe. Not in need of being singed…Hey, was that boyfriend of yours Al Capone…"

* * *

><p>River returned the Doctor to his TARDIS without too much trauma. He was satisfied having lost only his eyebrows. She even returned him to his bed chamber, so as to avoid the judgmental gazes of his companions when he appeared on the arm of a woman in just his underpants.<p>

It had been a most unusual day, but success and pleasantry were definitely had. She climbed the stairs to the reading room to tidy for the following day's guests and placed the fallen books on the fixed shelf. She noticed the missing book and found it in the chair where he had left it.

When she had removed it from the box, it had sent a terror through her like nothing else could. Both for what it represented in the world's future and also for what it represented in her past. She hesitated even putting it on the shelf. But the Doctor always made it perfectly clear that decisions to change the past or future had to be made carefully and that they could not deny the people the opportunity to create that future to which they were ultimately destined. So, even knowing what she knew, she had put it with the others and hoped that her visitors made the right choice.

She returned the infamous book to the shelf once more. It would become a classic in its own right, written by a soulless man in a prison between two World Wars, one of which he would lead and during which she would have her darkest hour.


End file.
